"FAITH"

                                                                       "Faith"

                       "Believe in order to understand rather than understanding to believe."

                                                   Neil A. Maxwell, General Conference 2002

I have been thinking about the subject of faith lately. It has always been one of my favorite topics because it is one of the most powerful subjects and yet one of the most simplest. But it can also be the most difficult. It is the most powerful, because with the simplest amount of effort, prayer, maybe fasting, and believing, it can have the most miraculous results; the hardest, because it takes our faith and our believing in order to bring these miracles about. We don't often have the spiritual confidence in ourselves or our Heavenly Father to know that we are worth it, or worthy of it.

I am thankful that I had such powerful faith promoting experiences as a child, before I was old enough to question faith or worry about my worthiness in having my prayers answered. I just knew that my Heavenly Father loved me and I knew he was there for me. I never doubted!

I was thankful to hear this past week that one of our grandchildren received a Priesthood blessing and that afterward, her arm began to heal as a result of that blessing and the faith that was exercised by all who were privy to it.

I would like to share and experience with you that happened this spring about faith. Let me preface this with some thoughts of last summer. I had just started a new job after Christmas and was pretty stressed out about it. By the time summer came I was pretty much topped out in the stress department. I new there was much that needed to be done outside in the yard but could not bring myself to do anything about it. I knew if I went out there it would just stress me out more because of all the things that had to be done. We did a lot of traveling that summer to see family for baptisms and graduations. Our summer was booked. I was glad to be getting away. I just wanted to enjoy summer, kick back, relax and enjoy the great out doors riding bikes and relaxing. So I never went out in the backyard. Not once did I even go out there. I could not have cared less.

Although easing up, my job remained stressful into the fall and winter, but as spring came I began to feel like I was ready to spend some time outside again. I was looking forward to it. I usually start my own flowers indoors but took the winter off while adjusting to the new job, and figured I would just plant seeds directly into the ground, like I used to, or just buy them. 

I knew there was much that needed to be done, from neglecting the yard the year before, but thought it would be alright. I had had to let the yard go a few other years, that were hard years for me and it survived and so did I. But I knew it would take some extra incentive to get it into shape this coming summer. 

At the beginning of spring, our supervisor from our Guest Service Missionary group, was talking to me about wanting to have a Bar-b-que that summer to get everyone together and was asking where I thought would be a good place to have it. I jumped at the chance to have it in our back yard. There is nothing like having something in your backyard that motivates you to get it cleaned up and get the jobs done. So I offered and she accepted.

In reviewing the situation, there were fences, decks, bridges and trellis's needing to be stained or painted, overgrown foliage to be trimmed away, a barren 10 x10 patch of non-grass area full of last years cut down tree roots, that still needed to be removed, raked out and new sod placed. There were weeds that had gone to places I didn't know there were. There were many flowers to plant and I came to know how much money I had been saving over the last few years growing my own flowers when I began purchasing them. It was a mess. But I was motivated and so was Ken. Beautiful days would come and we would want to go bike riding, but I would insist that we kept at the yard. And I was glad that we did. We were coming up on the date of the party, July 9th, and there was still much left to do; some things that had to be done and some that could wait till after, but knew they would slip into the lists of fall or next year.  

And then there was the pond. It needed to be cleaned and the pumps rearranged into their summer positions. The large pump sits in the bottom of the big pond during the winter, so it won't dry out, while the little pump is moved from the lower waterfall/pond into the big pond to run the little hose during the winter, the small pond remaining dormant. I was in the pond, in my waders, cleaning it out, while Ken moved the pumps back into their summer positions. The last thing needed was for Ken to hose out the big pump and get it into position and ready to turn on. He did, and when he  plugged it in, and turned on the switch, nothing happened. He undid it, plugged it back in, and nothing happened. He moved the plug to a different outlet; Nothing happened. He re-cleaned it, nothing happened. We were exhausted and down to one of the last details before we could say that the yard was ready. We had spent a lot of time and money fixing and repairing and now we faced having to buy a new pump? It wasn't that old. It had worked when we put it in the pond to winter over. Why wouldn't it start?  I looked up at Ken with a "Now What?" look on my face, and he said "Well I guess I can run down to the pond place and get a new pump?", questioning like we had any other choice. And then I had a thought pop into my mind, "Say a prayer". I told him what I was feeling.

So there in the middle of the back yard, in the middle of the pond we bowed our heads and I offered a prayer. I thanked the Lord for the opportunity that we had to have such a beautiful back yard where we could invite family and friends to come and enjoy his creations and told him how hard we had worked to get it into shape and our desire to not have to spend any more money than we had and asked him if he would bless our pump that it would start so we would not have to spend anymore money. Then I thanked the Lord and closed our prayer. I looked up at Ken to see him gathering up the pump cord and reach in to take the pump out of the water. I said to him, "Don't you think we ought to show a little faith and plug it in one more time?" He looked at me apologetic and reached down to plug the cord into the socket. And then flipped the switch. And the pump started right up!  We both looked with amazement and felt blessed. Then I suggested we say a prayer of thanksgiving. Again we bowed our heads in the middle of the backyard, in the middle of the pond and thanked the Lord for this blessing.  The pump has worked without fail all summer.

Now I must ask you. Do you think that we needed the pump to start working that very moment? Could we have gone and bought a new pump right then? Would we have been 'ok' financially if we'd had to spend the money? Yes. But that day the Lord felt that we needed to have that experience of having our faith tested and having our prayer answered, and that we needed to share this experience with our family that perhaps at some time when we need to know, we can remember the answers to prayers that have come to us in our lives, that assure us that there is a Heavenly Father that loves us, enough to answer our simple and maybe what might seem meaningless prayers. I hope you will think on this experience and others that you have also had and share them with your children, that you will bare testimony to your families  so that they will believe in order to understand. 

I want to bare my testimony to you, that I know there is a loving Heavenly Father that love's each of us and that he cares about our individual concerns. He does answers prayers! Hold on to the rod, say your prayers, and have faith!

Love, Nana 

Make them Thirsty

     There is a saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." And so it is with children. I can lead my children to the truths of the gospel but how do I get them to drink? And then the thought came to me, my job was to make them thirsty.

     I remember when my children were young and I took them to a video store to rent a movie. Shelby wanted to rent a "new, modern" movie that had just been released. I don't remember what the movie was, but I do remember feeling that this movie did not bring out the best values and it was not going to teach my children anything "good or praiseworthy". I remember suggesting that we get an "old" movie. Yes, you know the ones, the black and white ones where there is a lot of singing and dancing, with happy faces, good prevails and everyone lives happily ever after. They weren't thrilled with my choice. So I said, "Ok, we'll get the new one." But I went ahead and rented the 'old' one too, knowing or hoping that they would all end up watching with me. And all I could do was to hope that they would soon appreciate the values taught in the 'old' movies.
 
     We went home and watched the new movie. It was funny and we all laughed together and then I put in my old movie. I didn't make them watch it, but invited them to come in and sit with me. I don't remember exactly what movie it was, but I do remember we watched it two or three times and never watched the 'new' movie again. Watching old movies is now a family favorite. We have grown to appreciate the light hearted humor associated with those old movies. We watch a lot of new movies also, but we have a deeper appreciation for the arts of good music, singing, dancing and acting.

     We are taught  in the Doctrine of Covenants section 93:40 to "bring up your children in light and truth." We are also taught that we began as spirits in the pre-existence as intelligence's with our Heavenly Father. It is our nature to "cleave unto intelligence" as we are taught in section 88:40 of the Doctrine of Covenant's. "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom, truth embraceth truth, virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light." We are drawn to truth and light by nature. Children by nature want all that is good. They will by nature be drawn to what is good.

    For every good influence you make on your children, Satan will make 20 bad ones. As a young girl, my youngest daughter Jenny stood in front of the TV watching a talk show where a number of women were expressing their opinions of the freedom to choose to have abortions if they wanted to. All of a sudden Jenny shouted out, "Why don't they let them choose for themselves, after all it's their bodies!"

     I was stunned. I thought, "Hasn't she grown up in this house with all my other children; where she has been taught the value of the unborn child and the responsibility one has to that unborn child they are carrying and the choice they made that got them into that circumstance? I remember just staring at her dumbfoundedly. A paradigm shift in my thinking was made. Then I realized that the world was voicing opinions everyday, many times a day to my children and how many times in a day did I voice my opinion in opposition to the evilness around them?

     I began a campaign at that moment. I began to search for opportunities and ways to make my children "thirsty"; thirsty for righteousness and all that was good. I took advantage of every opportunity that came along for them to be exposed to what I felt was the voice of proper values and principles. I prayed to know how to direct them. Up until that moment I didn't feel it necessary to take them to every extra church meeting held, but then I realized I needed to fight back and take advantage of every teaching moment and of every chance for them to feel the spirit. I began taking them to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. Jenny and I set a goal to visit every temple in Utah. I decided I might as well take Jacob with us too. I began to pray that they would have testimony building experiences in their lives and that I would recognize and take advantage of those opportunities when they came.

     Shorty after praying for those opportunities, one arose. Jenny and I had gone to a store to get some clothes out of law-a-way that she had there.  She gave me $20.00 to pay on her clothes while she kept $50.00 dollars in her little black coin purse, which she took with her while trying on some other clothes. When we went to leave the store she had realized that she left her coin purse in the dressing room. Of course it was gone and no one had turned it in. I felt horrible. I knew the money was gone. She had worked so hard to save it. She was planing on using it for a 6th grade graduation party the next weekend. She was very quiet as we drove home. I didn't know what to say. I felt angry that people could be so dishonest. Then the Lord pricked my heart and thoughts and showed me a better way.

     I had been given a teaching opportunity to teach her to rely on her Heavenly Father. I began to tell her, "Jenny, your money is gone. I am sure who ever took it spent it or left immediately with it. But if you will go to your Heavenly Father in prayer and tell him that you earned this money honestly and ask him to help you earn it back, I know he will help you." And then I felt very impressed to say to her, "Jenny, people will call you to babysit, even people you do not know, will call you to babysit!"

     What did I just say? I was stunned at my own words! I know the Lord had inspired me to say those things, although I wondered myself what that meant and who might call her? When we got home she went immediately to her room and said a prayer. The phone rang. A neighbor asked if she could tend that night. The phone rang again. A girl introduced herself as the sister of another lady at our church and was needing a babysitter for the next night, Saturday night; a young lady Jenny did not even know.

     The calls continued to come throughout the week until Jenny had earned all her money back. It was answer to her prayer and mine. A great lesson had been learned by both of us.

     Many other opportunities came to teach faith. We must pay attention and never be afraid to trust in the Lord to teach our children to trust in Him.  He will always answer the prayers of a mother and her children to have faith in him. They will want to trust him. They will feel good to feel close to their heavenly Father. They will begin to thirst after righteousness and will no longer need to be led to the waters edge, but will walk hand in hand with you there and will have a great desire to stay close to the waters edge where they can partake of the water anytime they want or need to.

Learning to Love Unconditionally through the Master's Touch

A number of years ago, I  had one of the most spiritual experiences of my life and also one of the most difficult. I found out I had breast cancer. I will never forget the feelings I had during the first two weeks of finding out about this cancer. 

The most frightening thought was that I might not be here for my children when they needed me, and that I would miss some of the best years of raising them. It was a difficult period of time, but I quickly recognized the spirit of the Lord was attending me constantly throughout the surgeries and for the next two years! I found out later that many people had been praying for me.

I found myself succoring those who came to succor me. I was lifted up by the presence of the Lord's spirit that attended me. I basked in his light and I soon began to see that I was being tutored by the Lord. I didn't recognize it at first, but little by little, I became aware of each teaching moment.

 One of the greatest things I was taught was how much the Lord loves us. I felt his unconditional love for me, every moment of every day. I began to look on others with this same love. It was like I was able to see them through His eyes; almost as if I could see into their earthly bodies and see their spirits. One day at work I helped a young man, who I was told was very belligerent, foul mouthed and had been refused care by the other nurses who had grown disgusted by his rudeness.  I will never forget walking into his room and looking him in the eyes. 

There I saw a young boy wracked with torment from  the heavy load he carried. It was if I could see his burdens surrounding him. My soul filled with love for him and I wanted to take him in my arms and rock him, as I would a hurt child. I called him softly by name and asked him if I could help him get dressed. He looked me in the eyes and I felt his heart soften. Somehow our spirits connected. I knew, that he knew, he could trust me. 

I helped him slip his shirt up around his shoulders and one by one I buttoned his shirt, while he patiently watched me nimbly push each button through the snug buttonholes. He quietly gathered his things, not saying a word to me, and left without proper discharging. One of the nurses turned to me and said, "How did you do that?" I said, shrugging my shoulders, "I just treated him like I would have anyone else." 

I wish I could explain how I came to feel this love for others. I was taught directly by the Lord. It changed my life. I don't ever look at people now the way I did before that day. I was taught by the Masters touch.  I began to see my own children differently and my husband. I saw my parents, my brothers and sisters and everyone one I met differently! Only our Heavenly Father sees an individuals potential. He understands what each of us is dealing with, and our abilities or inabilities to deal with each trial that presents its self upon us.

 I saw how important it is to always be positive and never, ever, focus on the weaknesses.  Our Heavenly Father sees our strengths and our potential. He knew us in the preexistence and knows what we are capable of.  He encourages us always. He is forgiving and He is kind. He cries for us when we are hurting and is merciful when we are repentant and would only say to us "Go and sin no more." 

Be kind. Be loving. Be gentle. Never, ever, be critical of the sweet, sweet spirits the Lord has entrusted into your care. Love them as he would love them and as He loves you. Be tolerant of their mistakes as He is with yours.

Encourage them as he does you. Recognize their potential and bask in their goodness. Be ever tolerant of their weaknesses and wrongdoings because often they have inherited them from you!

The Lord loves us in spite of our weaknesses. Treat them with the same respect that you would give the prophet because they are potentially Gods and Goddess's, Priests and Priestess's and heirs to all our Father has.

I could not bare the disappointment of our Father, who felt I did not give my children the love they needed to be secure in themselves and in their relationships with their Heavenly Father and Mother. 

Even though having cancer was one of the hardest trials I have had to deal with, it has been the best spiritual experience of my life. I learned things through that trial that I am not sure I could have learned any other way. I am so thankful for the things the Lord has taught me. When I have had weaknesses that I have wanted to overcome and have prayed earnestly and sincerely about, the Lord has always given me trials or experiences in my life that have caused a change in my heart and has helped me to overcome them. For that I am grateful. I don't think I had the ability to overcome them by myself. Those mighty changes of heart come through the Lord Jesus Christ alone. 
He is the  healer of the soul. For that I am eternally grateful. Amen. 

"Mother's Pearls"

My second eldest daughter Shelby went to China to teach English. When she returned, she brought me back a string of pearls. They are beautiful and I enjoy wearing them very much because she gave them to me.

One day I looked at those pearls and realized that some day in the very distant future, I hope, she will probably wear them also. On occasion my children will make comments about some of my "things" they would like to inherit when I am gone. I never was 'into' that sort of thing because they are just things.

When my grandmother, whom I loved dearly, died, I inherited a couple of her journals. They are the dearest and most meaningful possessions I have of hers. When I read them I feel like she is right there with me and am inspired by her writings. She taught me many things as did many other women in my life. Each little bit of knowledge I have gained, is like a pearl on that strand. My life is like that necklace and I still feel like I am adding to it. I decided that the greatest thing I could leave my children would be the 'pearls of knowledge' I have gained over the years of my lifetime, for what they are worth.

I was inspired to write the thoughts that come to me because of a question  posed to me by my daughter Jenny. She asked me one day, "How did you do it? How did you raise us kids?" It wasn't an easy question to answer. I thought a lot about it and once in a while some examples of inspiration in moments of child rearing would come to me and decided I needed to write them down.

No one taught me how to raise children before I had them. I had the example of my parents but knew there were many things I would like to add to what I learned from them. And that was the beginning. I am eternally grateful for the examples of others who taught me how to raise good children. I write these thoughts and feelings that come to me in behalf of my children and grandchildren so that they perhaps can learn from my mistakes and successes and start where I left off, improving on my example.